I went to visit our friends Sarah and Todd last night, and their seriously gorgeous babe. Maksim is one good-lookin infant. Even Andy, who is convinced that all babies look like aliens until they’re a few months old admitted that he was a cute lil bundle of joy. He then also asked Sarah if the bones in his hands were tough enough yet. Sarah invited him to shake hands with Maks, and I am pretty sure Maks showed Andy what’s what with that grip he gave to Andy’s finger.
So, on to the less important things in life, like….
So, on to the less important things in life, like….
SLIPS. I got a thing for ‘em, and I think any woman stepping foot out of the house in a skirt or dress should have a thing for them too. Here’s a little info that non-slip wearers don’t seem to get; as soon as you step foot outside of your house into the natural daylight… the entire free world can see through your dress/skirt. Thighs, what kind of undies you’re wearing, you name it. Oh, it’s a black dress? Unless it has a lining, sorry, we can still see through it. If you hold it up to a window, place your hand behind it, and see ANY shadow…you’re giving the community a free show.
If any men actually read this blog, which they don’t, they would be cursing me right now to STFU. Men love the non-slip wearers because of the obvious perk of getting to see the goods without having to buy beer, hot wings, and use a few dozen one-dollar bills without wifey knowing it.
Non-slip wearers fall into 3 categories-
The Ignorant- They seem to have NO clue that everyone can see through their skirt. I mostly just feel bad for them, because there is no way anyone is going to tell you the truth, unless you happen to run into your Mom or a best friend in the middle of a work day.
The Informed Exhibitionist- Of course there are those who are fully aware, but think it’s sexy. I’m not really sure how having the clothing equivalent of broccoli stuck in your teeth without your knowledge is SEXY, but that’s just me. Okay okay, I know I sound like a granny, so I will give the college-age gals a reprieve from this section. If you don’t want to wear a slip, then go for it. The ages of 18-22 are most likely the only time you will get away with it and you won’t look like an a-hole.
The Indifferent- I have talked about this a few times over the years with friends who don’t necessarily think it’s zexy, but the answer I seem to get is “I just really don’t care or want to be bothered wearing a slip.” I don’t get that. How can you not care that if you’re outside with someone, oh , like say your BOSS, or your DAD, they can see your junk? How does that NOT bother you?
Am I alone on this front? Am I like the undergarment equivalent of the polar bear? Are we short in numbers? I'm not really sure I get it. Slips can be adorable, like the one pictured. A strong wind comes along? Well the slip will probably save you some serious embarrassment. Why are people so terrified of these beauts?
I must be blind or ignorant but I swear, I've never seen anybody's business out in the sunshine because they weren't wearing a slip. Does the material matter or is it ALL skirts and dresses? Because I haven't worn one since I was about 6 and I would think my mom would have mentioned it at some point.
ReplyDeleteYou'll see me in my driveway tomorrow holding all my skirts up to the sun to check. I'll report back. ha.
This is informative. I see this all the time by offenders on the street. Mostly these are people who shop at Easy Pickins'.
ReplyDeleteSome days I wear a slip...but I have to confess I fall into the ignorant/indifferent category most times. I try.